I even tried running again. Back when I used to work out more, I used to run a few times a week. Lately, doing any sort of cardio makes me kind of hesitant because the whole racing heart thing reminds me of anxiety too closely for comfort. But for the past couple of months it's been on my mind on and off so I figured I may as well see what happens. I ran about two laps before I was totally worn out. Sooo, while I may be out of shape for running, it felt great to try it again.
Later, I still felt pretty confident so I tried making it out to a bar. I didn't make it into the bar but I did make it to the parking lot. Which is a pretty good step for me since it was a little out of my comfort zone. And I wasn't too bummed about not making it in, I was just glad I made it that far. You know what stopped me though? I wasn't feeling too much anxiety at the moment but I was worried about what would happen when I got into the bar.
Today, I made it to the temple for Sri Acharyaji Sunday talk. Which was one of my goals for the week. I was able to hang out for a bit afterward and have a chat with him about how things were going. I am kind of beginning to feel like I am on the right path and I have been starting to feel happy again but I'm hesitant to totally let go because I'm afraid that the carpet will be pulled out from under me. I am going to continue to push forward though and hope for the best. And lastly, I have been talking to an old friend who I used to have a bit of a crush on awhile back. We've been spending some enjoyable time together lately. I don't see things getting serious anytime soon due to several different reason but we're both on the same page about that and it's just been nice to enjoy hanging out.
3 comments:
Great news! I hope you continue to improve. Lovely, happy, upbeat post!
Glad things are going well and that you have an old friend to talk to.
Love the good news. It's great to hear you've started running again. I think it's important that you do get used to the physical reactions to workout, simply BECAUSE they're similar to anxious feelings. You'll get more and more used to them, making it easier to engage in social situations as well.
I'm proud of what you did at the bar. As long as you do a little bit more every time, you shouldn't see it as a failure if you do not go all the way. Thinking positive is always important.
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