Breaking the routine.

This has not been the best month. I was sick for about two weeks. Which, on top of feeling awful, prodded my anxiety to make it kind of a terrible couple of weeks. I am definitely glad to be feeling better but now I've been dealing with some other pains so it's kinda like...ugh. Otherwise, things have been going well. I really enjoy my job and I am grateful that it's something I can do at home. I've been getting out a little more so that's been nice but still haven't really expanded the area I venture out in. But it is nice to be getting out.

Lately though, I've been kind of...in a slump. I read in an article that facebook can cause people to become more depressed. With everyone posting pictures of fun times, vacations, etc, it tends to cause people to feel depressed about their own lives. I think that in a way, I feel like this. Not so much depressed as much as I see how much I am missing out on. So I have been wondering what I can do to...well just have more fun really. I rarely try new things. I'm sure other people who deal with anxiety's tend to fall into routines and stick with what they are familiar with. This is what I tend to do, looking back at my life. It's so hard to get me to try new things. But what's the fun in that? Sure, there is safety in that. But sometimes I just get tired of playing it safe.

So my solution has been to come up with a "bucket list" for this year. Things I want to try before the end of the year. I am excited and ambivalent at the same time. What if I can't do all the things on my list and feel like a failure? What if I can? Am I just talking out of my ass? Where do I even start? Mostly, I just don't want to end up feeling like I've failed, but I guess ultimately, only I can make myself feel that way. So I will just have to kindly remind myself that this is supposed to be FUN. Not life or death. Although, what kind of life am I leading if all I am doing is existing? So...here goes nothing. I've already got some ideas down. Ride on a motorcycle. Eeek. Probably not a long distance because I don't even like riding in cars with people but I've never been on a bike. Try raw sushi. So far I've only eaten cooked because the raw fish scares me. Hopefully, I'll come up with a good list and I will keep you all posted.

Ok, apparently I need to add "figure out how to resize photos to post" to the list since I'm trying to post a pic and it keeps showing up huuuuuge no matter what I do. The photo itself is not even that huge. Fail -___-






<3