So these past couple of weeks have been slowly getting better. This weekend I got out a little bit. I went to one of the clubs near my house. It took me a couple of tries but I made it there! I only stayed for about 15 minutes but it's a start. Today, I went down the street to a car show at a restaurant near my house. A couple of my friends were there who I haven't seen in too long so it was really nice to be able to go and enjoy the weather and catch up with my friends. I was there for about 45 minutes.
Also, I have been occupied with working on shoes for the fashion show! I think in one of my previous posts I mentioned I was going to be a designer in one of the fashion shows around town. I have 6 models to work with and I am putting two pairs of shoes I have already made in and then making 4 new pairs. It's been good to have something to focus on. I am quite excited to see how people react to the shoes when they are in the show! If anyone wants to check out my shoes the page is www.facebook.com/pinkominko
Other than that, not much new. I have been using positive affirmations again and focusing on more positive thoughts. I still meditate but only for about 15 mins a day, I was going for 20 but I got really antsy towards the end so I shortened it up a bit. After getting out a bit this weekend, I really do miss when it was a lot easier for me to just go out and socialize and go out to eat and go on dates. I've never minded being single for some reason but I am kind of feeling that itch to want to connect with someone. Of course, it'd be a lot easier if I could actually go to restaurants to begin with. Can't really date unless I can get myself to go out on a date!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Bad week.
Ok, so last week was just a mess. By the end of the week, I really just wanted to give it the middle finger. Yeah, that's how I feel about you too, week.
Have you ever had one of those weeks where all the big stuff is enough that all the little stuff builds up too? That was my week. Monday started out with horrible anxiety. So much for rememebering the "air after the pain" (From my last blog) All I could think about was how I just wanted to be able to sleep and feel comfortable. I just couldn't sleep and it just added to the anxiety and it just ended up with me feeling terrified on and off until I was finally able to calm down. I was a bit sensitive afterwards for a few days but I managed to get back out and do stuff, like go to the store.
However, my car battery ended up dying for no reason whatsoever and then after jumping it, it was fine. One of the bigger things that I tend to worry about is being stuck somewhere. Luckily I got stuck up the street from my house but then I started worrying about what if it had happened futher away? So that's kind of put me off really trying to stretch my boundries for the moment.
A bunch of little stuff happened that just put me in a cranky mood for the rest of the week. It sucked.
However, the nice things out of it was that I was able to get the car jumped immediately by the guys that owned the restaurant I was getting take out from and that I was able to get through the bad days I had with the anxiety. I had help from a friend, which was very nice. Looking back now....it still sucked. But I am glad it wasn't worse.
I'm just really annoyed with myself and the anxiety. How much longer am I going to let it play me like a puppet?
Have you ever had one of those weeks where all the big stuff is enough that all the little stuff builds up too? That was my week. Monday started out with horrible anxiety. So much for rememebering the "air after the pain" (From my last blog) All I could think about was how I just wanted to be able to sleep and feel comfortable. I just couldn't sleep and it just added to the anxiety and it just ended up with me feeling terrified on and off until I was finally able to calm down. I was a bit sensitive afterwards for a few days but I managed to get back out and do stuff, like go to the store.
However, my car battery ended up dying for no reason whatsoever and then after jumping it, it was fine. One of the bigger things that I tend to worry about is being stuck somewhere. Luckily I got stuck up the street from my house but then I started worrying about what if it had happened futher away? So that's kind of put me off really trying to stretch my boundries for the moment.
A bunch of little stuff happened that just put me in a cranky mood for the rest of the week. It sucked.
However, the nice things out of it was that I was able to get the car jumped immediately by the guys that owned the restaurant I was getting take out from and that I was able to get through the bad days I had with the anxiety. I had help from a friend, which was very nice. Looking back now....it still sucked. But I am glad it wasn't worse.
I'm just really annoyed with myself and the anxiety. How much longer am I going to let it play me like a puppet?
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