Just rambling.

The weather has been in the 40s again lately after being in the 60s and 70s. I really hope it gets nicer out again soon. This winter has just stretched on way too long. After talking with several other friends, it seems like winter seemed to affect a lot of people this year because they all said they felt down and out during the season too. Maybe that is why I've found myself being down lately. So hopefully nice weather comes back around soon.

My birthday is in about two weeks on the 8th. For the first time in...probably forever, I am not looking forward to it. I am stressing about renewing my drivers license and losing my insurance. Also, I probably won't celebrate it this year. Usually I get together with another friend who has a birthday on the third and we do something together since we have mutual friends but I'm not at the point where I am ready to go out in big crowds. But I do miss it.

My nights have been going...okay. Still a bit anxious but getting better. My therapist told me that I just need to relax and accept where I am with my progress and not to try to rush myself. Sometimes, I feel like I am just fighting the moment too much and I just need to go with the flow on things even though they are uncomfortable but I need to learn how to do this!

I've been feeling extra lonely lately. Things haven't been going well with the guy I am talking to. I have a feeling he's just not telling me something. I really miss being intimate with someone. And I don't even mean physically. I miss getting to know and getting close to someone and just feeling comfortable with someone. I miss cuddling and spending lazy Sundays together. It's hard to do that with someone who doesn't even live in the same state as I do so I guess I can see why things are falling apart. He doesn't understand. I give him a lot of credit because he tries but sometimes I feel like he thinks that this only affects him. I just want someone who can hold my hand through all of this and help me when I get stuck and reassure me. I'm an affectionate person, if you couldn't already tell!



So far, I have gotten about halfway to the DMV before I turn around. I've got two weeks to make it the rest of the way and sit through however long it takes to renew. On the bright side, I was able to get some more painting done today. I really wasn't motivated to go out this afternoon which is when I usually do my drive. So I spent it painting and listening to music. I finished a little one of my own and I am almost done with the dice. I am hoping to get back into some glass work again soon. It doesn't help that it is kind of an expensive hobby! Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. :) I am done rambling for the night!