Just a few things.

So I thought I would post a blog on some of the things that I have been doing that has helped me get to where I am with things today. I am still working towards being better and I know everyone is different and so this may or may not be helpful but I thought I would share. :)

I do a few things each day and have been for the past few months. I listen to a hypnotherapy cd each morning before I get out of bed. It's only ten minutes long and it has a lot of positive affirmations that I think have been helping me. I also have been writing out positive affirmations once a day. I have a notebook purely for this sort of stuff. I usually take about a page and a half or two pages if I feel I am having a bad day. I try to frame each affirmation as though I am already that way...like "I am happy and secure" is one that I have been doing. I think this has been a huge help for me because my mind tends to fall into negative thoughts and I think that a person's thoughts has a lot to do with what they believe they can and can't do. I believe that a person's actions can come back around to them and so can thoughts. It's more than just writing it out though, I find it helpful to really think about what I am writing about and how it would feel to be happy and secure or have confidence.

I have also been thinking a lot about how I'd like to be living my life and how I want to be and writing that out before I go to bed. I call this my 'Ideal Self' note. Basically, I just write all the qualities I want to have and how I want to live my life and again, I think about how it would be to be living that way and I phrase it in present tense.

I meditate about twice a day for 20 minutes each...so far that is about as long as I can last before I get super antsy. It's difficult to sit there for 20 minutes and not let my mind wander and I do get frustrated but I think the thing is to just keep at it. The Dharma Pravartaka at the Hindu temple said that I would notice a difference if I just stuck with it and I think that it has helped me move forward. I repeat a mantra over and over again and that helps. Either that or I just try to concentrate on my breathing. Sometimes, I repeat the positive affirmations in my head too. Can't send out too many positive vibes into the universe :)

I have also tried to not be so hard on myself when things don't go the way I would like them too. If I make it, great! If I don't, at least I tried even if I don't get further than my neighborhood. I still tried. And sometimes I will go home, calm down and try again later. Lately when I have been getting anxious when I go out rather than just leaving, I try to sit it out. I'll go to a quiet place or go sit in my car till things get better. In some cases, I just need to go but that's okay too.
It bums me out sometimes when I get to the point I have to leave but at least I got out there in the first place.

I actually just picked up some aromatherapy stuff at Bath and Body works. I have the Instant Comfort and the Optimism one. They are little roller things that you just roll on your wrist and then inhale the scent. I love the Optimism one, it smells so good I smile when I'm smelling it and I think that the Instant Comfort has been helpful to me also.

By kkaci at 2009-07-02

Lastly, my friends have been a huge support system to me. I've been pretty open with people about my situation and many of them have been more understanding than I would have imagined. Even new people I meet or people I thought wouldn't understand. It has also helped to have a few comfort people I know I can call on. I think that getting to know my super delicious friend better helped, I really started to get out and do things I wouldn't have imagined would happen so soon. Having him around as someone who is comforting and who was affectionate has been a huge help at getting me out to some very uncomfortable places. My bar friend has also been a very big help in me getting out more. He has done everything he can to make me comfortable at his bar, which has been my practice place to getting out more and being around people. When things get to be too much, he lets me sit in the back away from people until I calm down. He also is a very nurturing person and has provided me with a lot of positive support and has been encouraging me and reminding me how good I have been doing when I am feeling low. And I have many others who have been absolutely amazing. Every time I realize it, I feel very, very blessed.

By kkaci at 2009-07-02

So these are some of the things I have been doing lately that I've noticed have helped. I know I haven't been very detailed in my past blogs about what I've been doing so I hope that maybe this can be useful :)