A weekend full of surprises.

So this weekend has definitely been one of great accomplishments. I am definitely surprised with myself and continue to hope and be positive that things will continue to move forward. Friday, I was able to talk to my super delicious friend about what has been going on lately. We had texted a bit earlier in the day and I went to go see him out at the bar since he was DJing again. I was a little nervous going there just because I wasn't sure what to expect and also because I still haven't gotten totally comfortable going out. It wasn't very busy so that made things easier and we sat down and talked. He explained that it wasn't something I had done, just stuff he had going on. I explained how I had been feeling and we decided to just take things easy and be friends. I am definitely glad to have talked things out because I feel much better knowing what is going on and that we are on good terms. I ended up staying out the whole night which was like 4 hours! And here's the great part, when the night was over, we talked about me going to his place. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but his place is very very far out of my comfort zone, I had made it a goal to try to make it out there by the end of the summer but even that seemed like I was stretching it and then we stopped talking and so I forgot about it for awhile. He invited me to come hang out since he and his friend would be up for awhile just hanging out. And I actually said I'd try! I figured, why not? Might as well see how far I can get, I can always turn around and go home and it won't be a big deal.

Well, I ended up making it to his place! I still cannot believe it, I mean, even when I've been doing well in the past, the area of town he lives in has always been somewhat difficult for me. I had a very nice time just hanging out and I wasn't on edge too much. I think my biggest worry was once again, what might happen rather than what I was feeling. This is definitely something I need to work on, I think I'd be a little more at ease and would probably be more comfortable with things if I stopped worrying so much about the future and just concentrated on the moment at hand.

That is my big news. Saturday I just stayed home and laid low. I really wanted to go out again but I didn't want to push myself. Sometimes I feel like I am just trying to go out because it's been so long and I want to be out and about. But I don't want to overwhelm myself. I want to find a good balance so I finished the painting I've been working on these past couple of weeks.


By kkaci, shot with Megapixel at 2009-06-14

Today I was able to have lunch with a friend. We had to go somewhere that served fast food because I felt a little uncomfortable with going somewhere where I had to sit and wait but it's a start. I am definitely happy and very grateful for the progress I've made this week. Whether I will be able to make it back over to my super delicious friends house again is up in the air, some days I feel like I am able to do things then another day I won't be able to do the same thing I previously felt I could do. So who knows but I am definitely happy that I tried. There is a part of me that kind of worries a bit about things falling apart again. I try not to dwell on that too much but it is a worry that is in the back of my head. I try to just keep in mind that if I have a set back or something that I just have to get back up and let time pass and things will get better again. And it helps knowing I have people who care about me and who will help me and support me. My friends have been so supportive and understanding towards me, I can't even begin to say how much I appreciate them.