By kkaci at 2009-06-07
This weekend was a good one. Friday, I hung out with a friend for a bit. His place is a little out of my comfort zone. He also lives on the third floor of his apartment. It sounds silly but sometimes stuff like that can affect me. I like to park close to where ever I am going and I don't have to like to walk to far from my car. I know with time, these things won't bug me but for now they still do. I managed to hang out for a bit though and then headed over to Lit afterward. I didn't stay for long since it was fairly busy but it was good to get out. Saturday, I stopped up at Varsity and had some pizza with a few friends. I think I was out for a little over a half hour there. It wasn't too busy and it was definitely good to get out again. Afterward, I went home and painted. I don't want to overdo things and push myself too hard. I think this is the first weekend in a long time where I went out both Friday and Saturday. I was quite happy with how things went and it definitely gives me more hope for the future. I was also able to get in a good workout today, which is something that tends to be kind of hit or miss with me lately. I wasn't able to get to the temple at all this past week so I hope that I can get there Tuesday for the class.
Lately, I have not been sleeping well. I just can't seem to fall asleep and when I finally do, I tend to wake up about 3 hours later and it takes a couple of hours to fall back asleep. I am not sure what the cause is for sure but I have had a lot on my mind recently. Sometimes I wonder if I had someone to curl up next to it might help...hopefully in the future? :)
Some of the things that have been helping me get out a little is trying to stay rational about things. I always keep in mind that I am going out with my friends and they will understand if I have to leave or don't make it. Also, I figure that if anything, the least I can do is to try and see how far I get. This has surprised me a lot because sometimes I end up being able to go further than I thought I would. And when it doesn't work out, I can always say that at least I tried and that there will be other opportunities to go out again in the future so I don't get too bummed out. I think that the biggest thing that has helped me lately is positive thinking and also support from my friends. Every time I go out to visit with one of my friends, whenever I get nervous, he will try to talk to me to distract me or just hug me until I relax a little. I'm not entirely sure why this works but it does seem to help. I remember when I went to Elite to see my super delicious friend DJ when I got a bit nervous, holding his hand or hugging him did help me relax. But then again, for some reason, I got quite comfortable with him faster than I usually do with people (And I am still a bit bummed things didn't work out). Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. :)
1 comment:
Yea, it's a pity that things didn't work out with Mr SuperD, but it's good that you're still going out. It's improtant that you keep doing that, to keep your anxiety from growing.
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