I am definitely having one of those moments of frustration. I need to go pay my insurance bill and I was on my way to go to get it done and I just got anxious and turned around. The whole time I was thinking how I just need to be strong and do it only to give in halfway there. It's not even that far from me. I really hate that the anxiety interferes in such small ways. I just want to go pay my bill. Something people do every day and don't think twice about! Why does it have to be so difficult? I am super crabby.
I suppose at least I got halfway there. At least I got out of my house and I know I'll eventually be able to do it. It just bugs me that I can't just make up my own schedule sometimes. Like, I can't just plan out my day and know that I'll be able to get everything done I want to.
Overall, things have just been very up and down. While I didn't have much anxiety over the holidays which was a blessing, this was probably our worst Thanksgiving ever as we found out on Thanksgiving that one of my family members had cancer. I say had, because he was able to have surgery right away and the doctors believe that they were able to remove it all before it spread! So I am thankful to say I think that he was quite fortunate to have caught it early and that he will be okay. I have been quite upset with myself though as I wasn't able to make it to the hospital. I feel like an awful person. These are the moments it's really hard to be accepting and patient with myself and the agoraphobia.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Like, I can't just plan out my day and know that I'll be able to get everything done I want to.
I'm having to make a lot of adjustments to my expectations about how I "should" be able to get X amount of stuff done and become more realistic and flexible. It's a constant challenge because I'm apparently no longer able to fit myself into the kind of daily structure that I feel I ought to fit into.
I think that maybe I just need to realize most of this stuff isn't going to ruin my life if I can't get it done, it'd just be nice to be able to get it done without it being such a task though.
Post a Comment