Giving myself credit.

I've been having one of those days where my body just feels more sensitive to anxiety. I feel slightly exhausted and just worn out but jumpy. I was having a moment where I was just feel really anxious over wanting to be able to get out and just run to the store and not feeling up to it because of the anxiety. My therapist told me that I needed to start making note of when I was doing well and I realized that I am so focused on everything that I feel I am unable to do that I don't really recognize when I am doing well. For example, when I am able to get to the store, I am glad about it but I don't really give myself credit for it because I feel like it's something I just should be able to do because, well...it's something that people are normally able to do! So when I am able to do it, I feel like I am catching up to the rest of the world not doing something extraordinary.

But I am not normally able to do that. It's not something that comes easy for me. It may be for most of the population but I am not most of the population. I am so focused on feeling like I SHOULD be able to run to the store with ease because it's what most people are normally able to do. I realized I need to stop acting like it's something I SHOULD be able to do and give myself a little more credit when I am able to do it because it is difficult for me. By thinking I should be able to do these things, I end up not giving myself credit when I do. And by being so focused on everything I'm unable to do at the moment, just makes me feel worse about ourselves.

Eckhart Tolle explains that it's the story we tell ourselves that end up getting us all upset, angry, etc. We think something should or should not be happening but it is and by not accepting the moment, is where our struggle lies. While I've found it very difficult to stop telling myself the story I keep telling myself that makes me feel anxiety or sadness, I do see the sense in what he is saying and I am going to try to keep it in mind when I do get all worked up. I am sure I'll still get upset when I am unable to do certain things, but I am hoping maybe I will start being nicer to myself about it.