more animals
One of the bigger issues I've been dealing with during my "down time" is just being lonely. And not just for a relationship but I miss being able to see my friends. I still don't get out much and I am unable to have people over most of the time so I feel somewhat cut off from my friends. I still talk to them on the phone often but I miss hanging out. I miss being around people. I am a pretty social person and so it's been rough. I feel like I am missing out on things going on in their lives. A couple friends have had babies recently and I haven't even seen their kids yet. I feel like I am on pause while the world around me is still moving forward. And I do miss having a relationship. There's just something to be said about having someone who cares in that way and vice versa. There are times where I feel anxious and I just wish I had someone to curl up next to who would just tell me everything is going to be okay. I have faith in love. Even when my heart is broken. But I have moments where I wonder if I will ever find someone who will love my just the way I am. Of course, I think that before that happens, I need to love myself just the way I am and I still struggle with that.
Anyway, things have been going okay otherwise. I am still getting out a little, mainly to places close to home. I have not yet made it back to the temple but I hope that I will be more comfortable with it soon. I think that it will be very helpful for me, now if I can just get myself there! I did just get done painting a canvas for my neighbor. She is an interior designer and every year she is a part of the Street of Dreams. Basically, the Street of Dreams is a block with all new houses to show off the builders and designers skills around town for people interested in such services. She wants to buy it and put it up in one of the rooms in the house she is decorating! So that is kind of exciting and has been something that has kept me busy. I found out that painting is much more fun on canvas than on paper for me. :) Other than that, not much else new. I hope everyone is doing well! :)
5 comments:
Hi
I have the same problem hun with friends.. just latley have been making lunch dates etc with some but they have been letting me down also so I'm feel a bit down too.
Id love to see some of your art work.
I love painting but havent done in in years.
Marie x
This canvas oainting might be a whole new avenue of opportunity for you! And anxiety can't affect it!
Btw, nearly all the best artists, writers & performers and most "successful" busness people had/have self-confidence issues. It's the constant need to prove themselves that drives them on. I'm not suggesting that you stop learning to accept yourself for what you are - I'm suggesting that you use moments of doubt to find inspiration & drive to create your art. I'm sure that you'll find it helps.
Hey
I feel the same way about relationships. I would love to have a boyfriend but as i dont go anywhere i dont have the chance to meet anyone and sometimes i wonder if i ever will. Then of course theres the worry of having to explain to them whats wrong with me. why cant it just be easy!
I'd love to see your work aswell btw :)
Take care
Rachael
I can't remember who said it but I read somewhere that, 'anxiety is the handmaiden of creativity'. I notice a lot of anxiety/agoraphobic bloggers are actually very creative - writing, crafts, cooking, visual arts ... I see lots of self-expression of a high order. You're like this too by the sound of it :)
I'll have to figure out how to upload stuff. I do really like it, just sometimes I get frustrated hen I want to get something and I can't make it out to pick it up. Doh.
Post a Comment