I am having quite the frustrated moment. *sigh* Things have been really up and down lately, which is better than just being down all the time so at least I've had some positive moments with things moving forward. It's just getting really frustrating because I start to get excited that things are going well and then they get difficult again and it is such a let down! Currently, I am having some difficulties running some errands I need to get done. I am grateful I have friends I can ask for help but I think the most frustrating thing is that I want to be able to do them myself so I can get them done on my time. It's seems like a lot of things I've wanted to get done, I end of waiting on because I end up having such a difficult time with them, I end up having to ask someone to help me. It leaves me in a state of feeling helpless. I'm just tired of pushing against the same struggles I have had for years. I feel as though I haven't really grown much. Thinking back, all the problems I am dealing with now, I was dealing with when I was 18, that's ten years ago!
I think it's been what is causing the huge hit to my self esteem lately. I've been finding it hard to feel confident about myself and I believe it is because I don't have much going on at the moment to pull confidence from.
I am hoping in the next few weeks to get some good news. I was able to acquire a note from my therapist which I have sent to one of the campus counselors to see if I can figure out a way to get my degree without having to go into the school. Now that I have the note, they will be willing to work with me and so I am hoping to hear something from this soon. Also, I am hoping that I can work with a business to sell one of my projects I've been working on. I am very excited about this and very grateful that person who contacted me is understanding and willing to meet up with me nearby my house. I was upfront about the anxiety and she was very understanding! I think that dealing with agoraphobia, my biggest concern has always been that people will not want to work with me, not be understanding, not want to date me because of it so it was very comforting to know that when I explained my problem briefly, it was not a big deal at all. Now I am just hoping the meeting goes well and she wants to work with me!
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3 comments:
Oh, me too, i totally understand this, its all about going backwards and forwards and it is SO frustrating! One day i can do something, then the next two weeks, i cant do it, then suddenly i can do it again. Its just exhausting! Congrats on the opportunity with the business, and also in trying to finish your studies outside of school, wishing you all the best xx
Really hope things work out for you. That's great news about the possibility of being able to study for your degree from home! and about your project too.
Anxiety & panic destroyed what little confidence I had and now I have close to none which I guess is part of the reason I hide away and also because of what people may think about me. When I'm in a social setting I can't help but feel like an outcast or just weird. I would rather hide away than explain my situation, which is wrong. I'm glad that you have people who are so understanding.
Did you manage to give the linden method a try?
Lisa x
Thanks Miss Fiona! It is totally exhausting. I'm so tired of it.
Thanks Lisa! I hope it all works out. I have not yet been able to try the Linden method, I am still waiting on it. I know what you mean, lately I have been wondering how the heck am I supposed to start dating again? I don't even know if I can make it on a date but I'd really like to start dating again. Lately, I have just been really hating anxiety.
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