Up and downs.

I feel lately like my emotions are just on some long roller coaster. I find moments where I feel positive and hopeful but then in the same day I find moments where I am just at the end of my rope with myself. It's the same way with progress lately too. I've been doing well some days then other days I feel I am not doing enough.

I've been able to get out to go to restaurants in my area with some friends, so it's been defintely nice to be able to see some of my friends again. But I am still spending a lot of time around home and it's getting me really down. I used to go out to a club nearby my house. Sometimes I only made it for 10 minutes but it was something to do on the weekends that got me out and trying and got me around people who I enjoyed to see as I got to know most of the regulars and people who worked there well enough. Sadly, the place closed about 3 weeks ago and now I find myself back at home doing nothing. I've been trying to see it as an opportunity to try to get out further to new places but all the other places are just out of my current comfort zone. And I don't know anybody at these new places.

I feel like I have all this time on my hands and I don't know what to do. I'm not in school, the way things have been with the anxiety makes it difficult for me to work and I haven't found any work from home jobs around here that are legit. I've been living on my savings and I am almost out. It's causing me a huge deal of stress and just not having absolutely any clue what to do.

On the bright side, I have a phone appt with the community college here in hopes of finding a way to finish a degree. They do offer help for disability so I am hoping that I will be able to find a way to eventually earn my degree. I am very close to an associates but I needed to have some actual classes and I am hoping maybe they can work with me to make all my classes online one. Fingers crossed!