Counting my blessings

This is my favorite time of year, only because of the holidays! I must admit, I tend to "hibernate" during winter and I hate the cold weather but Christmas and Thanksgiving are my favorite holidays. Luckily, it has not snowed yet around here even if it has gotten cold. Today had it's ups and downs. I've been more cheerful than usual but I did have some strong anxiety right as everyone was arriving for dinner. And I've been having some stomach problems lately so I wasn't able to really eat much but it was nice to see the family. It does frustrate me that anxiety reared it's ugly head on such a nice day but it's over now.

Even though things have been really difficult lately and sometimes it really seems like my world is toppling down upon me, I do realize that I have many things to be grateful for.

I am thankful that I have a family to spend the holidays with. I am lucky that my family accepts who I am even if I'm not always understood and have had issues with it in the past. I am thankful that I have a family that gives me the space to figure out what I need to do for myself and provides me with a place to stay. I am thankful to have a family who loves me.

I am also thankful for the wonderful friends I am surrounded with. I am very lucky to be blessed with friendships of all sorts, even those that are close enough to be family. My friends really have pulled me through some very difficult times and have pulled me out of the darkness. I don't know where I would be without my close friends and I am thankful to be cared for so much.

This past year, the relationship I have been in has been very difficult. I felt like we had a lot of things working against us, most of the time. And with how everything ended, it has been very hurtful and confusing but I am thankful for the love that he gave me at one time. The times we were able to spend together and enjoy the time was wonderful. I feel lucky to have been loved by him.

I am also thankful that even though life seems cruel at times, I still have it pretty good. It is just hard to see the light through the clouds sometimes. I can only hope that I will walk away a stronger person. I am so ready to break free of this loop I seem to be stuck in. I can look back and somehow even when things are hard, I've still been taken care of and I feel very blessed for that. I am grateful for the ability to connect with others. I thank God for all the love that surrounds me.

Happy Thanksgiving all.