Que Sera Sera.

I was given a link to a Dr. Phil site on life strategies. I think that the points made are very valid and something to give some thought to for sure. http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/44

Thank you Robert, it was a good read and I took some time to think about #3. I began to think how the agoraphobia really pays off for me and I think one of the top payoffs is that it allows me to be relatively free of any sort of responsibility. It also gives me a big reason not to try new things and take bigger chances. By staying in my little bubble, I pretty know what to expect even as unstable things can be as an agoraphobic. And this is a pretty big payoff, people tend me give me a little bit more leeway about things and where I am in life. But in the long run, I really am hurting myself. By not taking bigger chances, I am not allowing myself to grow or even see what I am really capable of. I think we are all capable of being so much more than any of us think. I have many people tell me recently how intelligent or beautiful they think I am and that I could really be successful but it falls on unbelieving ears. I just play it off like it's just something friends are supposed to say or something along those lines. I do not allow myself to believe something like that. I am beginning to think I am selling myself short, standing in my own way. Nobody else is telling me I can't do it, I am telling myself not to try, to stick with what I know to be safe.

But I am tired of playing it safe. Something inside of me is stirring and I want to explore. I want to try new things. I want to do something different. I still hesitate but whatever curiosity is stirring is just getting louder. I can't get it to go away and I don't know if I want it too. If I fail, at least I tried...now it just comes down to taking the smalls steps to slowly get outside of the bubble I've made for myself.

I think I have found a therapist. She's new to the field and taking clients without insurance at a very minimal fee. She also used to deal with anxiety herself so she has an understanding of it. We talked briefly on the phone and she suggest RBT (I think) Which basically goes through all the irrational beliefs and takes a realistic look them to reprogram my thinking. I am definitely looking forward to talking with her and it seems promising.

I guess we'll see....