“Family means too much, Friends are too valuable, And life is too short, To put-off sharing with people, How much they really mean to you, And pursuing whatever it is that makes you happy.”
It's been awhile so I thought it was time for a little update! I am still feeling a little off from when I was sick a few weeks ago! Sometimes I can't tell if I am getting better or sick again! I did manage to get through it though, but it got really rough there for a couple of days. My anxiety was worse than it had ever been but luckily I had a couple of friends to call to talk me through it.
I mentioned in a previous blog that one of my goals was to be able to make it to my friends restaurant opening. Well he opened two weeks ago and I was proud to be there for one of his opening nights! I was SO excited and saw several people who I have not seen for quite awhile. I didn't really have much anxiety at all throughout the night and I was positively elated on my way home. I just felt comfortable knowing I could leave if I wanted to and I could call a friend if I needed someone to talk to. I even went back a second time. I was actually a bit anxious the second time but I had a stomach ache that night. I got through that night just fine as well. It just makes me realize how much of me being anxious has to do with my thoughts. One night I am totally confident and fine, the next night, even though I was still fine, I was a bit more nervous. Same place, different feelings. So it's not the place so much as it is my thoughts at the time being.
I also got through Halloween! Like I mentioned in my last post, Halloween was my downfall a couple years ago. I wasn't sure if I was even going to go out until the day came and I had a lot of fun. I was glad that I went out. It was probably one of the best Halloweens I've had. I've never been huge into Halloween, my favorite part is carving the pumpkins and eating the leftover candy. :)
By kkaci at 2009-11-14
I have gotten to be very social again and I am very happy to be around my friends and making new ones. However, when I go out I always go out by myself. I just go to places I know my friends will be or just meet up with friends. I find that it is easier for me to go out alone knowing that I am completely free to leave whenever I want. It also makes last minute plans easier for me because there are still nights when I start to head out but end up turning around. I also have found it easier to just be myself. And people actually like me, anxiety and all. I have found that when I am opening with people, it's easier to be myself and I connect with people because they too, in turn, open up to me and everyone has their own problems. I still do battle with accepting myself completely, in the back of my head there's that nagging that people don't really want to be my friend and deal with my issues but it's getting quieter.
I have really just been trying to enjoy life lately. All I can do is my best and if I do that at least I know I tried. In the past month two acquaintances I knew have passed away. One from a car accident and one from pneumonia. They were both around my age and it just really reinforces the idea that you really don't know how long you have. R.I.P Jesse and Steve...you both are missed very much.
I notice that the more I just relax and just go with things and not stress so much over the outcome the happier I have been. I am constantly thankful to be where I am at, there really was a time when I thought that this may be impossible...where I had completely lost hope. I still continue to do all of the things, listening to my cd, meditating, and positive affirmations. Lately, I try to take a moment to think about everything I have to be thankful for. It helps me stay positive and realize how much abundace I really do have in my life, even on the bad days. I say this everytime but I am completely blessed to have the people in my life that I have around. Even just thinking of them brings a smile to my face and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy haha. :)
I hope all is well with everyone!
4 comments:
I love happy blog posts!
You should congratulate yourself. You've done really well. I hope there's even better to come!
Thanks! I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing and hope for the best! I read a quote somewhere i really liked...."Fall down 7 times, pick yourself up 8." Or something along those lines, I've never been good with quotes word for word.
I really liked that quote! I'll probably use it myself in a future blog post. Since it's an old Japanese proverb, you don't have to worry about word-for-word repetition - unless you're going to write Japanese!
Yeah, too many changes at once never work too well!
Best changes happens bit by bit over time, even though that's what noone wants to do.
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