So lately I feel like I keep running up against brick walls. I've been getting out enough to feel like I am doing better, even venturing further every now and then but it doesn't seem like enough is progressing to make a difference. I am glad to be able to be getting out consistently.
I've been frustrated because I've been really unhappy lately. I am currently not seeing a therapist but I feel it would be helpful to find one. The problem is that I am not working, so I have no health insurance and paying for therapy is something I can't really afford to do at the moment. I've actually thought about trying to Linden Method, until I found out how expensive it is! I feel like I am running around in circles, obviously getting no where.
I'm 28 now, not working and am without a degree. I feel like I am just getting older. I've been working on things with shoes, but I feel like I have no idea what I am doing, business wise. Creating wise, is no problem. Figuring out the business aspect of things, well I just don't have any education in that area. I'd love to get a degree in fashion design but the one degree I found online was insanely expensive. Even with financial aid, I'd be in school debt till I was like, 80. I just wish I could find a hole in the brick wall somewhere. I'll keep looking of course but as you can probably tell from the tone of this blog that it has been wearing me down. All these brick walls are emotionally bruising to keep running into! This is one of those times where I just feel like if I didn't have the agoraphobia or if I was just strong enough to conquer it, my life would be open to so much more. I don't like thinking that way because that's just not the way things are. And I do believe that since agoraphobia is something I deal with, yet I find something I believe is possible, then there is a way. Even if it takes some creative thinking. The path less followed.
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6 comments:
I know exactly how you're feeling. I've been feeling the same lately. In the UK we have an online university called The Open University - People on low incomes get the fee's paid for them. Perhaps there is something similar in the US?
I don't know if it's just me but I feel the more progress I make the more unhappy and frustrated I get - If that makes sense. It feels like there are still a lot of obstacles to overcome - i.e. like you were saying about trying to find work with no education. It's a bit like I've lost my place in society and don't quite know what to do to fit in.
Lisa x
Had a little look online for The O.U in America. This may help http://www3.open.ac.uk/contact/details.aspx?countryname=USA
also meant to say if you have msn or another programme you can send files through, I can send you the linden method. I downloaded it online, I definitely don't think it's worth the money but it could be a useful tool x
Hi Lisa! There is a local community college that has online degrees but nothing that I would be interested in. Thank you for the link, I will check it out!
I think I know what you mean. When I am making progress and doing really well, I get frustrated with even the small setbacks and the obstacles just get harder and seems more difficult to deal with.
Is the program able to be sent through e-mail?
I'm not sure if I can send it through email. if you message me @ lisam2009@hotmail.co.uk I will give it a try :) x
Thanks so much! My friend ended up finding me a copy. I really appreciate the offer though! I am very curious to check it out.
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