*sigh*

I get really frustrated with how simply anxiety can sap me of my confidence. It's like *snap* and I begin to doubt myself again. I've had a couple of good weeks, where I was getting out easier and feeling my confidence grow but these past couple of days I've been having trouble again. I just don't get it sometimes, why can't I do something today that I was fine doing yesterday? Or a week ago? If I've been there once before, why would it be difficult to be there again? I just want to be able to feel free. Like I can make my own decisions without basing them on anxiety. I am so tired of it.

I don't care to be "normal" anymore, but I'd sure as hell like to feel like I am in charge of my own life. I like it to be easy to make a grocery store run. I'd like to stop wondering if I will make it through my entire workout. I'd just like to know I can. I'd like to be able to go out on dates and go out with my friends, I feel so isolated and lonely lately.

*sigh*